Saturday, November 03, 2007
~ 2:36 AM ~
i dunno why i'm feeling so wrong.. everrything isnt going very smooth.. i got into the chinese class that i didn want to cuz there's alwaes people talking back to the teacher and i want to go back to the next class.. i want more practice on bao zhang bao dao and gong han.. miss leong does a lot on that that.. thus i wanna go back to her class..
i wanna cry can someone lend me a shoulder? there's a mix emotion in me.. i feel so uncomfortable.. i feel so out of place everywhere, at home especially during oh families' gathering.. i'm all alone.. nobody talks to me.. i dun like that.. in school.. cally, zy and rachel are always talking about some stuff that i never will understand cuz they've got 2 years together with each other.. listening to them talk or joining them in conversation make me feel so wrong.. sometimes i dun understand wad they say.. i actually dunno.. they're like buddies but i'm just a normal friend.. it happens in cca too.. i thott shermin and lifang were my friends..but during the meeting they stick close with her.. why? i dunno.. cally and the rest alwaes dun appear for cca and i'm left alone..
i wan a close friend one who will be alwaes there for me no matter wad happens one that i can confide to.. there's no one i can trust.. i can only trust myself.. i wanna trust jing but she's so aloof to me.. i cant break the ice between us.. secondly she said it herself that she cant trust anyone except her sunshine.. that includes me.. wad she said broke my heart.. i cant trust her any more cuz her dun trust me.. sometimes i wish for an older brother.. a brother that can take care of me one that i can count on.. i wish.. for someone to care for me.. someone to be there for me.. someone for me to hold on when i'm scared.. someone to protect me.. someone to hug for warmth.. someone with a shoulder to lend on when i'm down.. someone to love and dote on me.. i guess that may nv happen.. i'm not a person who deserves such nice person.. i'm just a nobody.. i dun leave an impression in people's minds.. i'm a nobody that no one would make an effort to know me.. will someone out there make me happy?Labels: i'm feeling so wrong
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
