Labels: Bye Bye Blog =/
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y Labels: "sorry, jesslyn apologizes, my dear"
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y Labels: jesslyn is depressed and wants to cry
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y Labels: jesslyn's infatuated
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
Friday, January 11, 2008
~ 7:24 PM ~
Congrats kor kor Reagan, and his wife on your marriage!! may you have a blissful marriage!!!
yupp.. 100108 was kor kor's big day!! =D
hmmm.. at the dinner, we were kinda of the latest family cuz i came home late.. i didn get to talk to linger jie, jing, khoon, and jacob.. argh wadever lahh.. jac like so dao lorr.. talk to him dun wanna answer me.. [re lian tie zai leng pi gu..] managed to talk to bernard kor kor.. yupp.. he saes he coming back to singapore for good.. yuppp and he saes the company relocate him back here.. but he said after a few years he wanna go around again.. he doesn wanna stay in singapore lahh.. haha.. but i agree with him. he saes if we go around to other countries, we'll get to meet different kinds of people and noe other cultures.. and if we have friends around, whenever we wanna go somewhere there's always someone you noe.. =) he saes it good experience even to go overseas to study.. hmm.. sounds interesting and inspiring.. guess will wanna go overseas to study too.. but not so soon.. thanks kor for your advice.. hopefully i will do well for olevels and see where can i got.. i wanna aim HIGH!! haha.. haha..
today had lesson on cme, mrs cheong said something i really agree.. she said human needs will nv change.. which is the need to be loved.. true enough everyone needs it badly.. your parents, ur childrens and ur friends and family relatives.. it inspiring too.. =)
~ 5:26 PM ~
I'VE THOUGHT IT OVER AND REFLECTED AFTER BEING SCOLDED MEAN STUFF.....
HEY JING THIS IS FOR YOU.
A BIG THANK YOU!!
THANK YOU FOR ONCE BEING SUCH A GREAT COUSIN..
ONE WHO USED TO OFTEN LISTEN TO ME..
THANKS FOR SEEING YOURSELF IN ME.. I'M NOT BEING SARCASTIC BUT MAYBE YOUR ACTIONS REALLY DID UPSET ME AND MADE IT SEEM LIKE IT MATTERED A LOT TO ME THAT'S WHY I DID THE SAME THING..
SORRY FOR TREATING YOU LIKE A NOBODY WHEN YOU CAME OVER.. I JUST GOT UNHAPPY CUZ YOU WOULDNT REPLY MY SMSES AND I HAD TO ASK YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN. I WAS SICKED BY THIS BEING IGNORED THING.. I'M TIRED..
I REGRET ALL MY ACTIONS.. FROM THAT STUPID QUARREL TO NOW A DISTANT RELATIONSHIP.. YUPP I SERIOUSLY HATE IT.. HAVING SEEN YOU AROUND YET I COULD TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO SAE HI WAS MY FAULT.. IGNORE ME FOR WADEVER YOU WANT BUT STILL I'M SORRY..
SORRY I BLAMED YOU FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING ME.. SORRY FOR ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE DONE. I CAN'T APOLOGISE MORE THAN ENOUGH..
IT'S MY FAULT I'M UPSET WITH YOU.. I GUESS I'M JEALOUS OF YOU.. I MUST ADMIT.. YOU'VE GOT YOUR SUNSHINE, UR SIBLINGS WHO CARES FOR YOU.. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING I DON'T. YOU MADE IT INTO A GOOD SCHOOL.. I'M JEALOUS.. I GUESS I AM..
I GUESS I'M NOT A GOOD COUSIN.. I'M NOT SO ONE IMPORTANT TO YOU ANYMORE.. SORRY.. SORRY WE DIDN'T TALK DURING THE WEDDING DINNER..
IF YOU READ THIS POST PLEASE REPLY AN EMAIL IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAE..
ps. i thott i needed to let you know that the anonymous who stood up for you on khoon seng's class blog was me.. maybe you already knew and i was slow but i guess wanna let you noe that even if you ignore me lyk now, i'll still stand by you sliently.. anyway i'm lonely enough cuz jacob doesnt wanna talk to me when i talk to him yesterday too.. i'm always behind you to catch you when you fall.. count on me i'll share your burden..
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
~ 10:42 PM ~
i'm super duper DEPRESSED today.. first, i couldn't get my locker cuz they wouldn't collect the payment at all!!! *hemph* stupid company, make me super angry!!! ARGH!! secondly, i actually lost my world badge!!!!!!! doubly angry and frustrated.. people might sae it's just a badge but that badge is like 4 years with me already.. i depressed when i lost it.. i was frantically looking for it but i couldn't find.. lost hope le.. i love that badge and i'll missed it.. i'm a faithful person okiie? lastly this thing makes me wanna break down and cry.. as i wan still in hope of trying to find the badge, i walk past a group of ppl in school.. they called me so i looked up and stopped.. i listened.. then someone said, "so and so says you are ugly.." i actually didn't expect to here that larr.. i thot they were trying to tell me something.. but as i heard it, i really didn noe wad was i supposed to sae.. so i just moved my shoulders up and made that wadever/dunno face lor and walked off.. i pretended to act as if i was dumb or not affected by it lorr.. but actually i knew i was bleeding inside... [xin hao xiang bei hen hen de si chen liang kuai] in chinese.. i wanted to cry but i couldn't, tears wouldn't flow at all.. i dunwanna be like this.. i feel very sick inside and i can't vent it out.. play me a sad song and let me cry.. please... i really need something lyk that.. finally i noe how it feeling like to be said mean stuff to.. thankfully i stood up for jing..
yes i noe i'm fat, ugly, irritating, short.. i noe all my weaknesses and i dun need you to tell me.. i wanna be nice too.. but it's nv easy.. i dunwanna be short, fat and ugly too.. but that's me.. i can't change who i am.. i'm depressed.. let me cry.. please..
Sunday, January 06, 2008
~ 5:55 PM ~
hmmm.. sec one camp was rather tiring yeah.. slept like only for 2 hours and had to come back to school to clear up.. super lack of sleep.. tired.. whee!! got certificate of regonition!! hard warok finally paid off.. i'm happy!!! hmmm.. shucks.. my feelings for him came back... his name appears in my mind and are filling up my thoughts.. i thought i could forget about him and focus on my studies but i realised i can't.. i enjoy being with him.. even just a short while, i'm really happy.. i can't stop thinking about him and thats true.. i lyk himm but i'm not good enough for him.. we are not suitable for each other at all.. its only a one-sided love.. he doesn't lyk me at all.. i wanna spend my time with him always but it nv will happen.. to me he's the best.. he's my rainbow when i'm down even though we are not close at all.. we are lyk strangers yet i lyk him.. haix.. wad's wrong with me?? i'm contented if we can be together even for a short time.. but thats very unlikely..
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