Labels: be a simple friend
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y Labels: a voice tells me "jesslyn, i'm ignoring you for life"
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y Labels: jesslyn regretted her decision
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y Labels: stupid fool is exhausted
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
~ 6:01 PM ~
i guess we dun think alike anymore..
i guess you dun get my jokes anymore..
i guess you are too mature for me to tell you something that meant as a joke..
i guess i realise you're leaving me one dae..
i guess we can't be as close as sisters anymore..
i guess this relationship will only worsen..
i guess we won't be close anymore..
i guess i can't share my woes with you anymore..
i guess i can't play fun games with you anymore..
i guess i wouldn't want to go over to your house to play or talk anymore..
i guess it's because i dun like the fact that you put him first before anything..
i guess you can't feel my existence anymore..
i guess you couldn't care less..
i guess you only love him more then anything else..
i guess your friends are more important..
i guess you won't need me anymore..
i guess i won't have to comfort you when you're down anymore..
i guess we won't share things with each other anymore..
i guess you have your own life..
i guess it's a life only about your family, him and your friends..
i guess it's a life without me..
i guess i shouldn't ask you out anyone..
i guess i shouldn't disrupt your life anymore..
i guess you just broke my heart..
i guess i'm the one who broke your heart, spoilt your mood..
i guess you're just who you are..
i guess i'm the one that's stupid..
i guess i'm the one with a weak heart..
i guess you won't want to how i feel inside..
i guess we dun understand each other anymore..
i guess all you need to do is sae "jesslyn, i'm ignoring you forever"..
i guess i'm a loser..
i guess i'm a failure..
i guess i'm a nobody now..
i guess i dunno you anymore..
i guess i've lost you for life..
i guess i can't be there for you anymore..
i guess i'm the cause of everything unhappy..
i guess i'm meant to be forever a loner..
i guess i'll have to be an unhappy person..
i guess my wish for someone to love me will never come true..
i guess my wish to be an easily contented person will never come so easily..
i guess one day i'll just become a depressed person..
i guess i'll be just an invisible gal..
i guess every gathering i'll just be sitting around quietly until you notice me..
Saturday, December 08, 2007
~ 11:58 PM ~
was busy the whole dae.. got home realised my brothers were about to leave for pari burong.. so my mum ask me if i wanna go.. so i thott if dun stay over i can.. so i agreed lor.. ate dinner and left the house.. dropped mama at the clinic for 'zhen jiu' then went to pari burong.. cuz got minutes to do so i thot of borrowing the comp lorr.. no choice mahh.. so i was using the laptop but it was like super lagg.. so i later i went up to the study to use the comp.. finally got it done.. phew.. then i went down.. they we playing mahjong lor.. so i sat on the sofa and played with me handphone.. she was busy smsing her sunshine lahh then also playing mahjong.. then after a while they ended the game.. so took her laptop and started chatting on msn with her loved one and friends.. i thott it didn matter that she put her things priority cuz it's her life.. but it did matter.. i noe i'm not important to her.. i'm an outsider in her life.. but i'm at ur house.. should u kinda talk to me or something? actually i dunno.. i felt like i was an invisible person sitting at the sofa.. time used to fly when i was with them.. now time seemed like eternity.. why? i really dunno.. why does her actions matter so much to me? why are my thotts revolving around wad she does?? i dun wan life to be like this.. i wan a life of my own.. but wad is a life of my own? i cant find a close friend that i can tell everything.. i can't find a close cousin that would listen to me.. i cant find anyone to talk to... i've got no one.. i noe i've said a thousand times.. but i have to sae it.. i dunwanna keep it inside.. i will die.. i regret becoming who i am today.. how did i become who am i today?? i dunno.. i cant count on her cuz we've got nothing to talk.. i didn even speak bout 5 sentences to her.. haix.. i'm hopeless..
Saturday, December 01, 2007
~ 3:01 AM ~
i feel like a stupid fool..
a fool who tries to cheer someone up when i'm worried for her..
a fool who talks to her but feels like a naggy old lady..
a fool who cheers her on but only gets cold responds from her..
she's someone whom i seriously think is better that me..
i alwaes envy her.. but i care and worry a lot about her..
especially when she's super depressed..
i try to stand up for her.. but all i get is a cold brush off..
maybe this fool should give her loved one some free time on her own..
yet this stupid fool is still worried she might do something foolish..
i'm a FOOL, a fool that no one cares at all..
why is the world such an unhappy place?
why cant this fool convince herself to believe the world is full of nice people?
how could this fool convince other before she can even convince herself?
why is life like this?
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