Sunday, November 25, 2007
~ 11:30 PM ~
today went to celebrate mama's birthdae at little red house restaurant.. was the first family to arrive cuz pap booked the place under his name.. kinda bored in the front.. no one arrived yet.. s just sat around and listen to the adults talk.. hmmm.. but later all the people arrive liao.. jing and family, lena jie and family, jac and family too.. hmmm.. sometimes i wonder is a gathering reallie fun? sometimes we joke around..
i feel like i'm not part of the cousins anymore.. no more closer.. drifting apart seems suitable.. i dun like this feeling.. i used to have jie jie to talk to me but now no.. jing and jacob are alwaes talking about a topic that i'll never understand.. yupp i noe lahh about his stead mahh.. i dunno.. maybe jing younger so talking to jac abt some things are so much easier.. i hate being the eldest.. i have no one to care for me.. did i take something that make me disappear? why do i feel like an invisible person.. i'm a human with feelings.. i need attention and concern too.. everyone have their own partners to talk to.. who do i have? i noe khoon's angry with me about confronting about the msg he sent to joel.. but i dun think i'm in the wrong..
i may seem quiet but why am i like that?? i reallie dunno.. i wanna be someone that all can talk too.. not an icy cool person.. i can be that person when i'm with popcorn but other times i dunno how.. i dunwanna be quiet.. but i feel that i do not have a common topic with someone.. i dun have similar interest with someone.. i've got nothing..
why must everyone be of different size and mass? why must people be tall, short, fat and ugly? why are tall people usually thin and pretty but short people fat and ugly.. why must people be all different? why must people despise one another..
i wish for a somebody to understand and noe how i feel.. have similar interest as me.. i dun wanna be an invisible person anymore.. i dun wanna turn into an introvert..just someone who cares and i'll be as content as can be.. after the cake cutting, we took photos and later we were about to leave.. and xiang jun jiejie comes to me and sae wed free go kbox or watch movies.. so i say should be fine lah.. so i asked her to inform me.. then should be okiie.. the we talk about so things.. haha.. i'm glad i had this talk otherwise i may really turn crazy.. thank you jie jie for not treating me like i'm invisible.. i really appreciate it..
btw.. happpie birthday mama!! i love you.. wo ai ni!Labels: human to invisible
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
