Saturday, December 08, 2007
~ 11:58 PM ~
was busy the whole dae.. got home realised my brothers were about to leave for pari burong.. so my mum ask me if i wanna go.. so i thott if dun stay over i can.. so i agreed lor.. ate dinner and left the house.. dropped mama at the clinic for 'zhen jiu' then went to pari burong.. cuz got minutes to do so i thot of borrowing the comp lorr.. no choice mahh.. so i was using the laptop but it was like super lagg.. so i later i went up to the study to use the comp.. finally got it done.. phew.. then i went down.. they we playing mahjong lor.. so i sat on the sofa and played with me handphone.. she was busy smsing her sunshine lahh then also playing mahjong.. then after a while they ended the game.. so took her laptop and started chatting on msn with her loved one and friends.. i thott it didn matter that she put her things priority cuz it's her life.. but it did matter.. i noe i'm not important to her.. i'm an outsider in her life.. but i'm at ur house.. should u kinda talk to me or something? actually i dunno.. i felt like i was an invisible person sitting at the sofa.. time used to fly when i was with them.. now time seemed like eternity.. why? i really dunno.. why does her actions matter so much to me? why are my thotts revolving around wad she does?? i dun wan life to be like this.. i wan a life of my own.. but wad is a life of my own? i cant find a close friend that i can tell everything.. i can't find a close cousin that would listen to me.. i cant find anyone to talk to... i've got no one.. i noe i've said a thousand times.. but i have to sae it.. i dunwanna keep it inside.. i will die.. i regret becoming who i am today.. how did i become who am i today?? i dunno.. i cant count on her cuz we've got nothing to talk.. i didn even speak bout 5 sentences to her.. haix.. i'm hopeless..Labels: jesslyn regretted her decision
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
