Tuesday, June 23, 2009
~ 8:40 PM ~
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY WEIREN!
today duty is quite fun.. i helped zhenqiang out abit too.. =) did my duty with hannah and weechong.. and then kenneth and jarvis came to take over but i decided to stay and take a look at a few of the shoots.. sorry twin! i pangsehh-ed u in the sc room.. i decided i shouldnt waste more time.. so i went back to sc room to mug.. first 30 min was a total failure.. i was tired.. couldn focus at all.. feeling all so useless.. haix..
mugging session today failed totally i didn do much at all.. i feel so useless.. i feel so stressed up.. i had the same feeling as yesterday again.. i just couldnt help it.. i noe i should not think too much.. really thankful for suven, kenneth and jarvis' concern..
i seriously do not wanna fail any subjects.. i dunwanna let my parents down.. i wanna do properly.. i nv felt this stress during o lvls.. i haven had this feeling after sec 2.. but it had to come back again.. i have no one to turn to.. no one will understand.. i nearly broke down at the bus stop today after reading ^^ 's sms.. i noe i have others there to support me.. and this is only the mid year and its not the end.. i noe i need to hang tough.. i hope someone can just make me cry again.. i wanna dunwanna bottle things up.. i just wanna cry.. ='(
i realised smth today.. smth that i thought no one will see at home.. but grandma did.. grandma knew.. she knew i was stressed.. she knew i was tired after going to school.. she made me dinner and wanted to give me essence of chicken to drink.. i didn drink though.. but grandma knew i was rather bothered by smth.. she also wanted to get me bubble tea to cheer me up too.. but i really didn want anything.. and she sae she will buy make me some drink for me to bu chong jing shen.. i really LOVE my grandma alot.. i want her to be proud of me.. i cannot afford to do bad for exams.. i need to pass with at least Bs and Cs.. i dun wanna come home with Us or Ss...
i need to do well.. come on jesslyn! GO GO GO! dun give up!
i'm still holding on to that faith.. the faith that i will get my one week.. dear god, please, just one week.. please.. one more week.. Labels: jesslyn is scared
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
