Saturday, August 08, 2009
~ 12:06 AM ~
i nv felt this way before.. i was never once sad that my birthday's coming and that i'm a year older.. today, it felt like the world came crashing down on me.. i dunno for wad reason, i just became super emo.. super down and depressed.. i guess it's the worst today.. i guess it was rockbottom.. the lowest it could ever go.. it suddenly occurred to me that i didn want national day to come so soon..
i dunwanna spend the day all alone again.. spending it once at home with absolutely no plans was terrible.. i nv wanna try it again.. i wish for company and i'm contented enuff.. it's super long holiday is no fun at all.. they are all meant for studying but look at me.. wad am i doing? i really do not noe.. all i feel now is sadness.. anyone with emo songs? play me a tune at will make me cry when i'm listening to it.. i wanna let it all out.. i dunwanna keep it inside, i'm suffocating.. =(
^^ hasn spoken a single sentence to me today.. not even an sms.. that's sad.. =/
after dinner with sc, the only period i started to smile was when baby clarissa was at grandma's place.. she's so innocent and cute.. she can just do wadever she like and there's someone to protect her.. i wish could be as carefree as her..
i'm pretty amazed at how some of my friends and be so close to their mum and tell her everything.. how i wish i could too.. i dunno wad have i done wrong, mummy's been ignoring me for the past few days.. i dunno how to talk to her.. i dunno wad to do.. that made things worst too.. i ever experienced being ignored by her on my birthday and i dun wan that again.. ='(
thanks to the few ppl who showed concerned for me and tried to make me happy again.. i really really appreciated it alot.. i made a promise to linus that i'm not going to be like that tmr.. so i guess the only way out is to accept the facts, and sleep on it.. jesslyn! you cant be like that tmr.. you gotta stay strong..
suddenly thinking about my sweet saturday last week.. somethings are over and you can nv chase it back.. these memories are sweet and i hope they are able to make me happy again..
Labels: jesslyn's dejected
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
