Tuesday, August 02, 2011
~ 2:02 PM ~
i dunno why but i'm beginning to worry about having to go to uni.. today, i've been thinking that i made a few wrong choices along the way to where i am regarding the university matters.. i feel that my insecurities have got the better of me, causing me to not want to take part in the nus camps and choosing pgpr instead of halls..(i'm not going to deny that initially i was also influenced by my friends to not join all this activities) but i think i've done it all wrong.. i shld have chosen to attend at least the science camp or union camp, it would have forced me to make new friends and widen my social circle. even joining halls would have been a better option for me than applying for residence.. (i realised that the residence give me a different atmosphere as compare to halls where people would at least know each other cuz they attended camps..) now when i meet my friends, who attend the camps in uni, they seem to feel so comfortable in that environment(it's like they in their elements where they belong). and i'm still feeling foreign and awkward even in my own faculty. it just felt like i had only one friend there and thats cally. all along i've known that i have difficulties socialising with ppl, approaching them, taking the initiative to start a conversation is usually not wad i would do.. going to uni means i'm going to be out of my comfort zone.. being all that quiet and inactive person wouldn't help at all.. it kinda scares me as i feel i've got a lot of grounds to cover once uni sch term starts..
all along i know i've wanted to join the student union to contribute to the school and the different community in the ways that i can.. but without joining the camps and getting myself orientated to the environment, i find it a struggle cuz i dunno or i have no clue who can i approach, or how do i even join the student union? how am i going to cope with this? i dun want to let cally know i'm feeling this way cuz i know she can adapt to the new environment easily.. will anyone understand how i feel and be able to guide along the way? i'm feeling like a mess now and all i wanna do is hide..
Labels: jesslyn's hesitating
*_a liL noboDy wHom yoU'vE iNsPiReD_* Y
